" God made you a bigger apple of his eye 🍎"

 " But mummy why don't you look like a mummy..? my youngest son (Seven years old at that time) asked me, he sternly said " the mummies of my friends in school are big!!!..but you look small like aunty Kate who is not married..." I knew there was no escape route this time from his interrogation (as it were). With my hands busy with needle work, I had to confront this moment of truth... lost in an animated train of thought, I reminded myself of who l am. "Segilola in Yoruba language means - Jewel 💎 is  Wealth. This name was bequeathed to me by my grandfather, Papa Titus Adefioye, a fastidious farmer from Ile- Ife, in Osun state, Nigeria. His father was a major dealer in Gold, and the name Wuraola (Gold is wealth) was likewise willed to me 💖. But when I consider the rock (hard place) from which I have been cut (groomed), I confidently make my boast in the Lord - I'm a rare jewel shaped with the hammer and chisel of adversity, adorned by the Master for His glory. I live to praise Him for He alone is worthy of all praise and glory...I am indeed Oluwatoyin!!!🏃❤️💜😍 ." 

Within a few minutes, I returned from my mind travel watching my son unusually calm waiting for my response. Hmm... I took a deep breath, and held his fragile hand, looking into his eyes "Well, my son you need to know that I do not have to look like every other mummy because I am a different mummy..." He looked more curious..." So, mummy you are different from my friend's mummies? ... okay, there are big and small mummies..." and he ran to join his two brothers in the room, gladly announcing to them " Mummy is different !!!..." Then it dawned on me that the three of them had actually held a conference and the youngest was appointed to come carry out the investigation! Oh, it's wonderful how children exhibit innocence, trust and dependence. It's amazing how their hard drive is wired to be highly inquisitive, for they also strategize to get answers. As parents we cannot afford to be emotionally absent, they always have questions to clarify or else they get their answers from unreliable sources. 

As a child, I was usually described by neighbors as "the girl with the "egg-like" eyeballs. My big eyeballs stand me out ...eyeful...(still my trademark even as an adult🍎🍏😍)

I thought this was funny until I started school and at some point got admitted into a public primary school. Upon resumption, more than half of my classmates always ridiculed me with the nickname "Globe eyes...your eyes are too big... "  they would throw rolled papers at me during break time, teasing and singing to mock me . I was alone and made to feel different... I couldn't understand why I should be attacked because of the size of my eyeballs😎. The African hairstyle  "Suku" my mom always made on me didn't help matters... truthfully, my eyeballs bulge out like real eggs😀! Is it my fault? I always quizzed within. I thought I could control the situation and didn't bother to tell my parents. Though I confessed to one of my brothers but he told me to beat them up, how on earth could I do that? This continued for the next two weeks and after another round of such mockery, at the close of school, all I could do was cry home to meet my mom. Upon sighting her in the sitting room I ran to grab her hands without any good afternoon smile, I dropped my bag on her knees, crying, I anxiously asked;  "Mummy, but why are my eyeballs bigger than others in my class...some of my classmates always tease me saying, I have "globe eyeballs..."

My mom took a deep look at me, with a sigh, softly wiped my tears saying; "Iya( My pet name meaning - mother) There's nothing wrong with your eyeballs...see your eyeballs are unique and beautiful like mine( bulging out her own). If they tease you again tell them you are the " Apple of God's eye, much more, God made you a bigger apple 🍎of His eye to see beyond the ordinary. Don't mind them, your classmates are jealous of you...or they are so blind they can't see the beauty in your eyeballs..." I felt so good listening to my mom's confident narrative but still fearful.. The following morning in school I was shocked to see my mom after our assembly time speaking to the head of school and my class teacher. That was a respite until the class teacher was changed and the new one was just too crude to understand. My parents eventually withdrew me from the school to another one where I felt more relaxed though I still got the body language of " big eyes" but this time more trendy "cute big eyes"...oh ..I suffered😰! 

The turn of events in subsequent years after graduation from primary school leaves so much to wonder. 

Amazingly, in my secondary school, my "globe eyes" was a point of attraction...I was appointed several times as the flower girl of my red house during the inter house sports competition. Much more Interesting, at the higher institution my nicknames were, "sexy eyes...sleepy eyes.." I was nominated to partake in a "Miss Eyes competition" on campus...of course I declined on the ground that I do not have the time and temperament for such ☺️.

 I remember these happenings with a glint in my heart...  so how come the same set of big eyeballs earlier ridiculed later became a point of attraction? Hmm...people often reject what is different, they condemn what they don't understand.   

Many people, even Christians are still singing the song of "Change me "; tall people want to be shorter, short people want to be taller, fat people want to be thinner and thin people think they are too skinny, the crux of the problem for some is that they hate their skin color.

I was an active member of this "change me choir",  oh...I was jealous of my plumpy friends and those with smaller eyeballs in my teenage years...I thank God my prayers for change weren't answered, for my big eyeballs and petiteness are now unique assets to me. You see, until I got to the University and decided to take my faith seriously, I was an ignorant christian. Afterwards, the Holy Spirit personally opened me up to understand that I was created to stand out and not blend in. I began to see myself through God's mirror and His truth set me free from the lies I believed! I became sober to know that while the saving Grace of God drew me to Him, I needed to increase in the measure of His enabling Grace through more revelational knowledge of Him. As I engaged the Word of God actively in my adulthood, built a conversational relationship with the Holy Spirit, I understood that I'm perfect for my purpose. The words of Dr Myles Munroe in his daily devotional succinctly explains this " Everything about you is determined by your purpose. God built you, designed you, and gave you the right makeup for it. Your heritage and ethnic mix, the color of your skin, your language, your height, and all your other physical features are made for the fulfilment of your vision. You were built for what you're supposed to do. You are perfect for your purpose."

Wow... that's highly revealing. Purpose connotes intentionality in the mind of the creator. Psalm 139:14 ( NIV). I praise you because I am fearfully and  wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Our looks will change through the different seasons of life, however God's love remains constant for His beauty refines us even as we age. I understand now, that I'm worth more than my outward appearance because I believe in God's idea of beauty .True beauty and confidence can't be found in the perfect makeover and outfit, Instagram or Facebook photo...these only make you feel momentarily special. True beauty is from the soul, a surrendered heart, and it radiates out making the plainest face glow. Praise is a natural makeup that looks good on you always! Moreso, this beauty of the Lord does not fade even in pain or suffering for it shines like a star in the night. 

When you are full of God's love you will feel secure in your identity and mission. I love and greatly admire the inspiring life and stunning looks of Joyce Meyer, at 78 years, she is still attractive and magnetically fit on the pulpit, cheerfully serving the Lord. In her words " the power of God can make us look better and keep us feeling younger, because we are not living the hard life of sin....it is no longer difficult to tell who belongs to God and who doesn't."

When we focus on appearance rather than substance, we wind up with shallow spirits, we become only consumers of God's goodness rather than contributors to His Kingdom. Even though we must invest in both appearance and substance, we need to be modest in all things. Don't pay in strange places and stop wishing for a better shape. The Holy Spirit is a fitness coach who can guide and lead you to the shape and looks best fit for your purpose. Let's give the Holy Spirit control over everything. Teachability, boldness and trust are necessary for healthy growth in God and in all things.

The health and entire life of a Christian who listens and obeys God's direction is secure even in sickness ( or in death!). Mind you, not all sicknesses are caused by sin or disobedience. Sometimes, Satan attacks a believer with sickness and He is an expert at making us feel defeated even in our time of victory. Your mind plays a vital role in your victory. Prayers and confession of God's word are key even if you need to administer drugs. Faith overcomes no matter the level of attack. 

The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of truth and He will never misguide you into a lifestyle of reckless abandon of your health and other blessings of God in your life (both the spiritual and physical blessings).  

2 Peter 1:3, NASB: for His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence.

He willingly guides you on the right things to feed your body just as he guides you on the right things to feed your mind .It is vital to have constant diet of the Word of God to build the God kind of faith. The mind has a vital role to play in converting the light in the spirit to understanding. The healthier your mind is, the more it can accurately interpret the light of God's speakings. 

 1 John 2: 27 " But the anointing which you have received from Him abides in you, and you do not need that anyone teach you; but as the same anointing teaches you concerning all things, and is true, and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, you will abide in Him.

The  Holy Spirit teaches us in different ways, He can directly speak to you, lead you to people, guide you to gain knowledge and understanding through studying the Word of God, or studying books written by anointed authors, listening to inspiring videos and teachings on relevant topics, sometimes by listening to other people's experiences on relevant areas, we obtain light. 

I am a beneficiary of His direct wholesome teachings on personal grooming, personal effectiveness, being a virtuous woman, mothering, fashion ( He sharpens my color mix), cooking (there are recipes I never knew about that He told me to try out and they tasted awesome ☺️, Intimacy in the bedroom 😍, exercises, making out time to rest, prosperity of the soul and other areas such as finance intelligence, building enriching relationships, emotional intelligence, management... I'm still diligently learning everyday and my notes overflow. His divine instruction to me to start a blog is a purposeful way of sharing these lessons freely with others who need them. I'm in awe of the unlimited resources God has prepared for us to make our lives really beautiful ❤️❤️❤️.

Recently, He set me up to practically learn how to be considerate to others...

During one of my trips from Sagamu to Lagos last year, I learnt a very important lesson on being considerate enough to make others comfortable around me no matter their shape or size. Early that gorgeous morning, I got to the park, and was directed to the car loading passengers. I was so pleased that the back seat which accommodates three people was vacant with two seats, so I gladly made myself comfortable. We waited for about fifteen minutes for the last passenger. Then suddenly I noticed an endowed young lady.. really corpulent! She came to occupy the last seat by me...I thought..." How will she fit in here?...while thinking, I noticed the other passengers were already hissing, laughing and passing ill comments about her size... immediately I sensed within a voice saying to me  " Don't be inconsiderate, make her comfortable enough to sit by you..." Of course I knew that's God's voice, Satan could never say such kind words to me. So I adjusted myself in such a way that she could fit in well, in fact she occupied half of my space in addition to hers but I was okay. As we proceeded on the journey, I brought out an inspirational book to read, however my mind was filled with thoughts of " Lord, this lady is obviously young and beautiful but how come she's so big ..this is embarrassing....in that instant I sensed within, a voice saying,  " Do you know she could also be wondering in her mind,  "How come this lady by me is so slim ...? Hmm.. I got the message...Stop criticizing her!... There's little fat in one and there is excess in another...the Lord God made them both. Who says the slim one is healthier than the other? Who says the corpulent one is more of a foodie than the other? Most times we judge people based on the little or no information we know about them. Well, I obviously understood the message the Holy Spirit was passing across to me.. I thought it was over until I noticed the young woman placed her head on the edge of the seat in front of her. I felt more relaxed and brought out a sweet to refresh my mouth. Immediately, I felt a prompting within telling me to offer the young woman the sweet. "No!" I said to myself that's my mind playing out on me . I kept back the sweet in my bag but I became restless as the urge became stronger... persistent, I knew that God wanted me to reach out to the young woman. I whispered within " but she's asleep"... before I ended the statement the young woman suddenly lifted her head...hmm...I got the message again.  So I quickly signed to her, " Do you care for this...? I was astonished when she exclaimed with her plummy voice " Oh, thank you ma, I have been feeling nauseated ...like vomiting and this sweet is so needed...God bless you for your kindness.." she took two and placed her head back .. licking. Wow...it dawned on me that God was right, she needed the sweet. Shortly afterwards, we alighted at the park and immediately she got off, she reached out to me with a big smile saying " I am grateful sis...God bless you". Oh...I  felt like I just won a Grammy award!!!. 💫🙌🙌🎊🏄🏃🎉😍❤️💜 

Don't be afraid to be different, enjoy your unique shape and always remember to be considerate to others. 

Yours sincerely,

Segilola.