I couldn't think, I just did it!

"Mum, you will never be good enough." That was my eldest son's response to me when I confessed my fears about blogging. Eyeballing him, I stood still, lost in thought trying to process this feedback, then I heard him say aloud " If God tells you to start then start with what you have...stop hunting for excuses!". Gbam! I shrieked with delight. I couldn't agree more with his down-to-earth opinion. Like a flash of light, I remembered the scripture we shared together the previous day. 

Romans 10:3 " For they don't understand that Christ has died to make them right with God. Instead they are trying to make themselves good enough to gain God's favor by keeping the Jewish laws and customs , but that is not God's way of salvation. They don't understand that Christ gives to those who trust in Him everything they are trying to get by keeping His laws. He ends all of that". 

Suddenly, I saw it! Yes, the light! I looked to Him and was radiant and my face was not ashamed. 😍 

I reasoned that since my self righteousness could not gain God's favour of salvation except through the grace of Jesus Christ, therefore, no matter how hard I try to be good, or how knowledgeable I strive to become, I will never be good enough to accomplish all of God's plan for my life and ministry. Philippians 4:13, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. In other words, It's not about being good enough rather it's about trusting Him enough! The Holy Spirit is ever willing to teach and to help us obey the Lord.  

Did you know that you will never be rich enough not to be hungry and thirsty for God? "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven," Mathew 5:3.

Did you know that you will never be wise enough not to need and lean on the wisdom of God? The wise always seek counsel, if you're wise you will acknowledge your limitations. "Christ, the power of God and the wisdom of God. Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men". Corinthians 1: 24-25. 

Did you know that you will never be old enough not to need God's tender loving care - His TLC?  Isaiah 46:3.

You will never be strong enough to carry out God's work. Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. 

John 6: 28-29. Then they said to Him, " What shall we do, that we may work the works of God?" Jesus answered and said to them, " This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He sent."

The real work is to humble ourselves and  believe God, not parading self righteousness camouflaged in religious rituals. God's word says we are saved by grace through faith in Christ Jesus and not by our own efforts or works.. For if you truly believe in Him you will walk by faith and not by sight. To those who love Him and are called according to His purpose, He uses all our gifts, talents,  experiences, education, prejudices to work together for our good. That's good enough!

People often tell me that I'm a "natural" speaker but I never take credit for being a  "natural" because I know any ability I have to speak and teach comes from God. Aside from my presentations on radio, I was privileged to teach Sunday School at my local church for some years, even though initially I was reluctant to accept this spiritual responsibility however after all my "James Bond" attempts to run away proved abortive, I became humble. 

Later as I sat in bible study classes, I was more curious to know the Lord and his ways. I also prioritized studying God's word, and gradually I learned to surrender my shyness and the fear of not being a good specimen (No thanks to my childhood escapades), to the Lord then my confidence grew. 

Now, l love speaking to connect with people. Sometimes I'm misunderstood by people who feel intimidated by my guts and high spirits but I understand that they don't know where God took me from and where He is taking me to. Hmm...do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgement. Most times, there are scenes behind the veil that we do not see except the character on stage. 

Let me confess to you that I was nervous every time I stand before people to teach or speak in the studio but the good news is that God always works through my stage fright and He can work through your fears too but only if you let him. God understands and loves us despite our fears. So learn to cast your cares upon the Lord and allow him to use you despite your fears, this is what brings him glory. People can see God's strength amid our weakness. 

The story of the Samaritan woman in the bible makes me wonder how gracious God can be to us. A woman who was most likely stigmatized and considered a " Social misfit" by her neighbours after a terrible record of five failed marriages and worst still, the one she was with when she encountered Jesus was not her husband. As she took a lonely walk to the well that noon she never knew she was about to have a meeting with the "destiny changer". The test there was that the "destiny changer" did not come in a likeable appearance, but his voice was inviting and life giving. She took the great risk of conversing with Jesus, pouring out all her heart. Eventually, she was moved by the words of Christ and she left her waterpot went her way into the city and said to the men " Come, see a Man who told me all things that I ever did. Could this be the Christ? Then they went out of the city and came to Him". She still had questions in her heart yet she moved with joy to call others to hear Him ..that's faith! I suspect her ex- husbands would have joined the "salvation" race.😂

Did you notice she abandoned her waterpot to call the men? In other words, her priority changed, my imagination is that most likely one of the men offered to fetch and carry the water home for her after the revival because her status changed from being a misfit to an evangelist.

Also, I saw in this scripture that the woman's attitude brightened up after listening to Jesus. In essence, the Word of God always have a profound impact on our attitude, it actually refines it! A man or woman of faith exudes right attitudes even in adversity or challenging situations. Show me your faith not just by your works but with your right attitude!

One life lesson I hold as a mantra is "a right attitude wins always". This was born out of some personal experiences that have lingered in my mind for years. Dr Myles Munroe once said "Destiny demands diligence". So true,"seest thou a man diligent in his business? he will stand before kings, he shall not stand before mean men. Proverbs 22:29. 

I counsel, flavor your diligence with right attitudes, for this will always give you a winning edge. 

I was captivated by the lesson about attitude in my daily devotional written by GSAFNG. "Have you ever walked into a room and felt love, energy, and excitement? Your thoughts have a presence; they’re like currents moving through the air, capable of drawing people to you or driving them away. Your attitude is always sensed".

A right attitude sparkles like the exotic bloom of fresh flowers, take my word for it!

It has an alluring compelling hold on the recipient. Mind you, you are the first beneficiary of its fruit. Did you know that each of the fruit of the spirit is attitudinal? Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self- control, sums up nine visible attributes of a true christian life. Spiritually, fruitfulness and usefulness are intertwined. Invariably, your attitude determines your altitude in life and in God. 

During my days in the bank, working at a branch in the Eastern part of Nigeria, I recall a particular experience that leaves me wondering till today," what on earth was I thinking?

On a gorgeous Saturday morning while washing my dirty clothes by the tap within my residence, a charismatic young man in his late twenties walked up to me with a brilliant smile, " I am Emeka Austin Oma (not real name) and I am your neighbor, may I assist you? I was curious, really? What could be his secret intention? Before I could muffle out my doubts, Emeka picked up some of the clothes and started washing, he was unabashed by my suspicion. In fact, he started talking about the town and asked if I knew how to speak the language...he got me there!. 

For almost two hours we had an endless stimulating conversation. He was very chatty and the way he laughed was strongly reminiscent of my father. He did more of the work and made sure it was completed. He told me he would be writing a test at a bank, (he didn't mention the specific bank) on Monday and asked me to pray for God's favour for him, which I gladly obliged. I thought this goodness was over...to my greatest amazement, while I was out at the market, it rained heavily and as I rushed back home to tidy up, I found out that Emeka had helped out, neatly arranged all my clothes and brought them to me. Gosh!...how can I reciprocate this unusual favour? I tried to give him some money but Emeka politely rejected it, rather he went to his room and got me a cold glass of water. My roommate later commented  "Emeka is a jolly good fellow, he is different and well behaved, he does such things to me too and he won't even wait for you to give him anything in return," ...I marvelled!. 

On Monday morning at the office, I was engrossed in my work at my funds transfer desk when my boss hinted me that he would need me to urgently help out in marking some test papers. I wasn't even aware that such test was conducted at the branch that morning. So he shared the test papers amongst three of us in the office. He gave us the necessary guidelines and we started. After marking about eight papers, would you believe the wonder I saw? I picked the next script and my eyes flashed through the name... Emeka Austin Oma! I squirmed in my chair with shock ...adjusted my seat just to be sure I was not too close to anyone. My boss observed my discomfort and asked , " Are you okay?" I'm fine I just need a glass of water" I retorted. I was served and as I sipped the water I was wondering " Could it be another person... but Emeka told me on Saturday that he would write a test today at a bank ...how come I got his script...".  Anyways, I summoned courage to continue marking and to my greatest fear, Emeka scored 28, oh God! suddenly I was cold with fear, got goosebumps! I wiggled my toes,  flashed my eyes on his script, knowing fully well that the pass mark was 30. 

Gosh!...really nervous with an arresting hold on me. This is Emeka's paper, I just couldn't think again, my head said no but my heart said yes. No! Yes! No! Yes!!! At that moment, I lost hold of my pen and it fell off the table,  the sound resonated across the office. That was the beat that quickened my mind, I stooped down to pick up the pen and without thinking, I did it!  Yes I made up two marks for Emeka and wrote 30 on his script. Immediately I sensed a thought within "You know you could lose your job for this .." Befuddled at that moment, I stamped my foot indirectly to "beard the lion in its den" "God, if I perish, I perish!" I whispered to myself. I can't explain how I survived the rest of the task.... pretty daunting. Trust me,  I wouldn't advice anyone to do this...

Was that the right thing to do? Why make up marks for only him? Hmm... before you judge me, try to be in my shoes...I couldn't think I just did it. How come I was the one who got his script? I don't understand. Mysterious but I perceive divine orchestration.  

To cut the story short, Emeka was shortlisted for the interview and fortunately for me, he performed excellently well, in fact my boss was already captivated by Emeka's performance and composure during the interview. Such a big relief!. Finally he got the job and came to share the good news with me. We greatly rejoiced, though I couldn't even tell him what I did behind the scene ...I told him "Emeka, you were favoured. Please be faithful to God and keep up your right attitude, that's your winning edge!" 

Oh my dear Emeka😊, I may have lost contact with him but this experience leaves sweet memories lingering on in my mind almost ten years after my resignation from the organisation. 

"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."..Maya Angelou. 

As we prepare to celebrate Christmas, don't forget that the sweetest gift you can ever give to God and man, not just this season but every season is a great attitude of gratitude. ❤️❤️❤️.

Please feel free to leave your comments. I appreciate your precious time. 💕💕💕

Yours sincerely,

Segilola.